An open letter to Dr. Michael Chitwood…..

30 Oct

Dear Dr. Chitwood,

I am writing not for money but for guidance please. I’ll make this as short as possible to give you an idea of my calling by God.

I am a survivor of seventeen years of childhood sexual abuse starting at age nine. My abuser was the Director of Christian Education and Music at our church. I am 58 now and lived in darkness and silence until after 40 years old. There were a series of events that triggered the out of control spiral downward. That started in 1986. I hit bottom several times only to have that bottom fall out also. In 1998 I was at the point of either suicide, third trip on that road, or getting help. God always put the right people in my life when I needed them even when I thought he didn’t love me and I didn’t see it for what it was.

The following is just short descriptions of some of the events of my life that brought me here after the abuse….

Leading to my break first,

A newspaper article on a case against my abuser…..

Dealing with my mothers diagnosis with dementia and then years latter her death….

Having a very dear and special friend battling ovarian cancer for the second time and then her death…..

Having a relationship with a very special woman that I was going to ask to marry me and the day I bought the ring that I would give her on Christmas two months away, she broke things off with no explanation…

Recovery and after it……..

Learned much about what my past did to destroy my present and future….

Had a severe panic/anxiety attack that left me temporarily blind and feeling like a heart attack which lead to a heart cath….

Almost losing my company due to depression….

The fourth trip down with suicide after my moms funeral, commitments were fulfilled…..

Meet someone new….

Got engaged on steps of church where abused and parents meet and married….

Tried to find justice with law but none to be gained…..

Anger at injustice….

OCD with changing laws and Anger built to point of almost destroying engagement….

Heard a story of someone getting rebaptized……

Heard that’s what I needed….

Got rebaptized on the epiphany on a Sunday morning with just pastor, fiance and myself. I was the only one to experience the visit from Christ…..

Anger gone…

Got married….

Unable to conceive a child….

Anointed by pastor at new church. He said we would have a child before the end of the year as God had told him so….

In less than a year we had our beautiful baby daughter…..

When she was two and a half I was taking her with me to an appointment but dropped her at daycare instead. Three or four minutes later I was hit from behind and was permanently injured, to much for here to explain, it cost me my company of almost 28 years, so much could have happened to kill me that day…..

Our daughter was almost to the day the same age as me when my father died…..

Many doctors and injections in my spine and a neck fusion later, no real diagnosis….

After two years I go to Mayo Jacksonville. Get diagnosed with spinal cord injury and multiple nerve roots impinged, disk damage and bone fragment in spinal canal…..

Go to Mayo Rochester to three week program in pain rehab……

Come back doing better a work to find my new base line in my life so as to start fresh……

Eleven month out from therapy I am hit head on and lose all progress in health and even more damage is done….

Evil just continues to attack all during this. Health insurance not covering bills. Auto insurance from either crash not paying on my coverage I paid for, even eight years out from first crash…..

Major health problems for my wife and daughter….

From the psychology side of my issues, PTSD, CPTSD, OCD, OCD, Anxiety, Major Depression, Bi-Polar Type 2, Panic Attacks and using a service dog to help with daily life….

No attack by evil will move me from God’s path for me.

Now to the point. I want to speak on the wonders that God provides by telling the testimony of my life. I am not looking to make a living doing this. I am looking to make a difference in the lives of those that are lost and searching for help. I want to help those that love them find answers to questions that they need answered but not the questions from a clinical viewpoint. So much of my past was working to destroy me and I had no idea. Had I heard what I heard decades later, maybe I could have be rid of the pain decades earlier.

Lastly, I recently took my “Walk to Emmaus” at the Methodist Blue Lake Camp. I found myself broken and on my knee’s at the foot of the cross asking God to take the fights I had been fighting that were not my fights to fight. He to those from me and made it clear to me as to what I was to fight for. That is what I am doing. It’s not about me doing this to get out of debt. It’s about getting others out of the hell that’s been created inside them…

This is not about money. This is about peoples lives, both on earth and after…

Only by the Grace of God,

David (Bill) Lester

Could someone please acknowledge this if possible. I realize you are most likely overwhelmed with email and such, but I have done so many letters and wonder if anyone even reads them…

Thank you.

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One Response to “An open letter to Dr. Michael Chitwood…..”

  1. bethanyk October 30, 2015 at 10:16 PM #

    I read your letter and I hope he reada it as well. I hear you and validate all of your feelings!

    Like

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