Broken.

14 Aug

Shedding Light on Darkness

*Trigger warning- swearing*

Oh how real that is right now.. I didn’t know it was possible to be broken. Not really. I said the words, but I never understood. I had learned to protect myself. Protected by the pretense, by the lies, by the mask.

I didn’t know, I really didn’t know that I could be broken, not that way, not like that.

I see it now, I remember. I feel it. Broken. Alone. Fucking alone.

Where were you? Anyone at all? What is wrong with people? What is wrong with this world, that a child would choose abuse so they didn’t have to be alone?

Unconditional love, I know all about that. I have felt it for so many. Too many. For the wrong people, the wrong person. Admitting I needed him, loved him and relied on him has thrown me into turmoil. Shame, regret, and pain. Oh, so much pain.

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